Schizophenia-Laurie

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Schizophenia-Laurie

My mother 30+ years ago was diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was hospitalized 5 times. During the 5th hospitalization she became determined to never return to that place. She began filling her mind with God. She changed her pattern of thinking. She stayed out of the hospital. She has taken a small dose of Haldol all these years, and I believe it has helped her.

But don't get me wrong, 30 years later I became mentally ill! Amazing though, after I had given my life to Christ and my spiritual eyes were opened, the next morning I heard in my mind, "were here" my life then became a living nightmare. I was hospitalized twice. The second time the ambulance was called, it took 7 large men to hold me down, I had literally beaten myself up because the voices told me "God hated me". One of the police officers that was there had pulled my sister-in-law off to the side and asked her if I had ever been involved in the occult? I lived in literal "Hell" for years, but God did use the medication while I became strong in my faith and the knowledge of who I was in Christ and how much God loved me.

My path differed from my mothers, I ran to the churches, I had hands laid on me, I was prayed over, I had demons rebuked from me and I filled myself with the Word of God. I stood on God's word. I have felt demons leave me, one night I woke up to feel a great presence leave, little did I know my daughter who was sleeping on the floor, also woke up and saw a black cloud over me and went through the ceiling.

It has been 12 years now, and I know I am not fully delivered, but that day is coming soon, The more light (the Word of God) I fill myself with the darkness has to leave. "Darkness cannot live with the Light". I am on a very small amount of medication. God has brought me a very long way. I am now going to a Christian College for ministry and counseling. God is so good.

The story does not end though as I sit here typing this email, my brother is sitting in the psychiatric ward with the same problem. He has been suffering for 10 years. He is standing on what the doctors say, he is looking at his problem as an illness verses spiritual. My life is speaking to him and he is considering the possibilities of the Word of God. I cannot force my views on him, but my life and God showing through it will be a great example of Christ and His love and power. I do not put down the medical field at all, I believe God gave them to help us, but I advise people to put God first fill their minds with God, and He alone will show each person the road to take.

For my family, I believe somewhere in the past the occult was practiced, opening the door to spiritual evil. I had a great aunt, my mother, her twin brother, me and both of my brothers affected by this. No matter what, I choose God, He does not want me sick, "He came to set the captives free." "He became a curse for us." He wants our lives to speak of His Glory and Power. I feel for those suffering, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I can read everything on mental illness, but because of what I have gone through, my beliefs stand with the Living Word of God.

You may email Laurie at LrBkr2 with any questions or comments.

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